When you’re struggling with thyroid cancer the least of your worries is what kind of lube to use during sex. But after I started to get better and learned how to restore my ability to even get aroused at all I began to notice something very strange in regard to lube that I had never noticed when I was younger and able to fuck through the most egregious interruptions. Though I finally got well enough to have sex again, whenever I or whomever I was with broke out the silicone lube, even if my hormones were raging like a teenager’s, my desire and satisfaction immediately dropped after application. Perplexed, I thought it was still my problem since it had been quite difficult figuring out how to restore my ability to be aroused, but I soon realized that some of my issue was actually with the lube itself, and this made a lot of sense in regard to some unfortunate situations over the past decade, like the one time I got a long-time crush into bed at the same time my erectile dysfunction began to set in and then never got him to go on another date with me ever again. The problem was the lube.

Silicone lube was a revolution of sorts for those who use lube during sex, as many water based lubricants get sticky or dry out too quickly. I personally favor spit, but as that doesn’t work with condoms silicone easily becomes the lube of choice when it’s needed. Silicone stays slick for hours, even after you’ve finished, took a shower, and accidentally picked up the bottle again and have to go wash your hands because it’s all over the outside, forever.

Think of everything that is also made of silicone. Cookware, oven mitts—things which insulate against heat. The very same properties which make silicone great for protecting your delicate hands as you extract a hot pan from the oven also insulate your penis or vagina from the sensations which come from sexual contact. Silicone has extremely low thermogenic conductivity, which means it does not conduct energy, and because of this silicone is also electrically insulative, so silicone literally insulates your nerves from sensing anything which touches them, and because the sexual organ’s primary function is to respond to touch the application of silicone lube then cuts off the nerve impulses of sexual touch and so makes orgasm a much less matter of course. Take for instance the porn star who has to finish their scene by vigorously and angrily whacking their meat. There’s not anything wrong with them or their equipment. It’s because the nerve endings have been insulated by the use of silicone lube, thus requiring sheer might to make it go off. But anyone with metabolic issues, aging, or circumcision are more likely to be affected by it.

To make sex more complicated, it’s not just silicone which is harmful for your sex life. Many lubes are made with ingredients that are outright toxic, like some of the bigger brands your lazy ass can just get at CVS, like parabens and petrochemicals which can directly alter your endocrine system, which means it tears down your ability to make the hormones that make you horny and able to fulfill the sex act in the first place. They can also degrade your nervous system, slowing the conductivity of nerve cells themselves and thus your ability to enjoy sex, and that’s not even getting into all the carcinogenic chemicals that can cause outright cancer, which includes some types of silicone too.

Most people only regard the skin when it is ridden with acne or burned by a long day at the beach, scrubbing, poking, and dousing it with all sorts of chemicals and products as if doing so has no repercussions for your health in general. The skin is actually a living, breathing organ and you should never put anything on your skin that you wouldn’t also put in your mouth. Ever used a lotion which reappears an hour later to make you look greasy and desperate? That’s your skin spitting back up what you put on it. Many skincare products are made of chemicals which induce inflammation in order to make your wrinkles look like they’ve disappeared, even some of the most reputable brands which I used to love until I realized they were contributing to my metabolic decline, as manufacturers care more that you see an effect immediately when using their product and not that you or your skin actually stay healthy, and these chemicals can cause serious health problems which, yes, includes your ability to get busy.

If you’re not using condoms, coconut oil is one of the absolute best lubricants. Because it absorbs into the skin easily it also feeds your skin and your body—making your dick or whatever takes it stay healthy and happy. Coconut oil converts into large amounts of the master hormone pregnenolone, which is great for our health, though in some people with low vitamin A, which is used in the process to make hormones, it will use up what remains and might knock out your libido, but this is easily remedied by just having a carrot or two, which you should be having anyway. Because oils will cause a condom to degrade, find a well-made water based lubricant which doesn’t contain any suspect ingredients.

Don’t just mindlessly buy products that can have a real impact on your quality of life. Read the ingredients. Do your research. Take care of your body, or it will give out on you. For more information on putting your sexual health into high gear you can read my article on erectile dysfunction, or get a copy of my book.